MY ART LIFE continued 2

Because of that, I developed a broad view on current affairs and learnt to view matters from a different angle. At home many discussions took place, but I didn’t want to take sides. Many of my eighteen brothers and sisters did, however, choose a unilateral stance in life. This was sometimes a drastic choice based on religion and prejudice.
It is only logical that with such a familial and cultural background I started my search for an identity at a very young age. I refers to this myself as identification, because without identification you actually don’t have a passport to the world. As a result, one of my first exhibitions was called “Search for Identification” (Gallery ’86, Curaçao, 1999).
For these paintings, I travelled back in time, through the Renaissance, the Greek and Roman periods and the ancient civilizations in the East, such as Mesopotamia and Egypt.

When I was nine, my eyes were really opened. I discovered things that my peers did not know anything about, or weren’t ready for yet. For instance, identity, but also sexuality.
“ All of a sudden I knew I was born in the wrong country, that mine had to be somewhere else. I’d go to the coast of Lebanon, at the Mediterranean Sea and stare at the horizon and was certain that my future, my love would lie far behind that.”

Art would be the way, or a manner of camouflage in which I would start to express myself. Even before I became ten, when I was still in primary school, I made a drawing that awakened my creativity. It was entirely based on my own fantasy of a dripping, burning candle of which the melted wax represented a naked woman….

“ I came to the conclusion that the world merely revolved around love and sex. Why did everyone tell me they were crazy about their dog, for example, or that they loved flowers? Why didn’t they show that they love their father or mother, the girl or the boy next door? Why hide those emotions?”